Character Matters Essay Contest, 1st Place, High School Division
Among most high school generations, there is a constant theme of wanting to “be the change”. The message is spread through public figures, administrators, and students all over the country. While wanting to “be the change” is all well and good, there is a much deeper foundation that must be addressed before change can actually take place in a person. That foundation is character.
The term “character” encompasses so many things: from integrity, to responsibility, to citizenship. Character is who we are when no one’s watching. It is the personal values and goals we make for ourselves and reflect in our actions. Character is leading by the example of our ways, and not simply our words.
My mom exemplifies the value of integrity to me more than anyone else. Integrity is about honesty and a respect for fairness, and about wanting to do the right thing, even when it may not be the easiest decision. Several years ago when all my siblings were still very young, my mom took us to the market to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Since she had waited until the day before Thanksgiving, she was forced to buy an expensive fresh turkey, as there was not enough time to defrost the cheaper frozen turkey which was more within her budget. When she returned home and looked at the receipt, she noticed that she had been charged for a much smaller turkey. The cashier did not enter the proper dollar amount per pound for the expensive fresh turkey that she had bought. Instead of celebrating the mistake that gave her several more dollars, she immediately packed up all five of us again, and returned to the busy store with the money that she owed. She knew she would not feel right if she hadn’t paid the correct price. No one forced her to go back; her integrity helped her recognize what the right thing to do was, so she did it. The manager was so happy that she had returned to the store that he presented her with a free bouquet of flowers and thanked her for what she had done. I remember the flowers that graced our table that Thanksgiving, still a symbolic reminder to me of the importance of integrity and character.
I try to apply my mother’s example of integrity to my own life as well. Last year, I noticed that my English teacher had marked three of my answers on a quiz as “correct”, when, in fact, I had answered them wrong. I felt unsettled about taking the higher grade, so I explained the problem to my teacher. Because of my honesty, she gave me the higher grade that I had originally received. She thanked me for coming to her about it.
People appreciate integrity, which is why my teacher and the manager of the grocery store felt compelled to offer a reward. It is so easy to choose to “let things go” and let integrity take the backseat so you can get what you want, but it is so important not to. Actions that reflect integrity make a person seem trustworthy, and it draws others in. People want to be with people whom they trust. Gaining trust is difficult, but maintaining integrity is a sure way to get it.
My grandfather is the greatest example of a responsible person that I have ever known. Though he is eighty-three years old and has several health problems, he insists on taking care of my grandmother, who suffers from dementia. The wedding vows they made more than fifty years ago meant something to him, they were not just repeated words spoken in front a crowd of friends. His wedding vows were promises made in front of friends, God, family, and his future bride, my grandmother. He vowed to be there for her “in sickness and in health” and knows that it is his responsibility to keep this vow. Taking care of her is often tiring and frustrating, but he does it every day, offering up his own suffering in union with God. My grandfather constantly tells my grandmother that he loves her, repeating it several times so that she is sure to remember. She always smiles and repeats, “I love you.” My grandpa’s strength of character is sure to have made a difference in my grandmother’s life. Even though she cannot recall his name, she feels his love. This is the epitome of true character; to serve and love unconditionally those who need help. He is “the change” needed in our society but that is because his foundation, his character, is well formed. His heart and mind have been strengthened and formed by serving others, rather than focused on tending to his own desires.
Though I do not have quite the task that my grandfather does in my own life, I still try to pattern my own actions after his. I take my responsibility as an older sister, seriously. By caring for my younger siblings, they feel loved. When I babysit them, I check that they complete their homework, are fed and bathed, and go to bed at the proper time. Showing responsibility for the safety of others actively demonstrates that you care for them and love them. Often, it is the members in our own family who we ignore or treat unkindly. Yet, if we start by serving our own family, our foundation gets strengthened and we will be able and willing to recognize those within our own community who also need help.
Citizenship, in addition to responsibility and integrity, is an important trait that should come to mind when character is discussed. It is the idea of being present and active in the community, being conscious of the laws and regulations, and helping the less fortunate. It is largely about service to the community. After helping one’s family, this is the next step to “be the change”. Recognize the quiet, helpless within our family and community, and then start loving them through actions.
Many believe that “be the change” is about forcing others into action. However, change cannot happen overnight. Forcing others to comply with “be the change” smacks of selfish behavior, as it seems devoid of true depth of purpose. A person with character leads by example, without calling attention to himself. Citizenship is important, and small steps in humble service to others will lead to a stronger character and more active participation in the future.
Thus, the only real way to “be the change” is by changing hearts in the community. I have learned the value of giving time to others, and spending less time on myself. If hearts are not changed, and there are no modifications in spirit, then things will largely stay the same. This is why a real change of heart is important. As human beings, we are inherently good. We want to be the best we can, and we want to help others. However, we often find excuses not to do so. Whether it is time, work, money, or something else, there is always an obstacle in the way of us and change.
By taking an active role in our own family and community, we will be able to show others how to change, and one by one, hearts will be transformed. It is more than just “being the change” in high school. Only by helping others, can we really be transformed ourselves. Integrity, responsibility and citizenship must be exemplified through my own actions before I will be seen as a positive role model, and as one that has the ability to change the hearts of others. If hearts are changed, character is built, and love takes over the spirit of a community.
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